Top Ten Proposed New Baseball Rules

Top Ten Proposed New Baseball Rules, courtesy of David Letterman.

10. New rule: catch a foul ball, win the salary of the guy who hit it.
9. All players must squat like catcher for entire game.
8. Remember Babe Ruth? Well, how about some more of them ball playin' fat dudes?
7. Instead of the National Anthem, sing "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" before every game.
6. Players can't do drugs unless they bring enough to go around.
5. At the end of bat night, fans get to beat the crap out of home team.
4. For just $3 over the regular ticket price, you get to "do it" with the Philly Phanatic.
3. Every time a player grabs himself you hear a slide whistle.
2. Buy a ticket to a Mets game - get a free ticket to a Mets trial!
1. 9 players, 8 uniforms.

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